I am going to make a conscious effort to not take life so seriously. That's such a weakness of mine because I tend to get so caught up in the whirlwind that I completely forget to take a step back once in awhile and remind myself that it doesn't matter nearly as much as I think it does.
I'm too serious. Too regimented and concerned with the facts and truth in life that I feel like I've lost a lot of the little kid in me. That zest for life and carefree attitude--I need more of that.
Everything is so structured with my training regimen that I feel like I'm a clock sometimes. Eat this an hour before my run, drink this amount of fluid 30 minutes before, run, eat this many grams of carbohydrates after. Food isn't food but it's now fuel for the machine.
That really sucks.
I want to eat a massive piece of cheesecake. And I want to eat just because I want to eat it. I want to indulge more.
I'm going to remember what it feels like to spend hours on a swingset. What it feels like to lick an ice cream cone only to have the big ball of delicious ice fall smack on your foot, and to laugh uncontrollably about it.
I want to prance around in flip flops and play tag and stop worrying so much about the evil, hidden intentions of boys, what they really meant when they said what they said, if they're trying to trick me, if they're really a douchebag disguised as a nice guy who will viciously break my heart.
I want to fall in the fun, kiddie type of love. Not caring about someone's intentions or hidden motives. Taking things at surface value---taking people at surface value--and trusting that what they're presenting is a true reflection of who they are. And if it's not, sour grapes. But why assume that right from the start?
I'm going to stop being so guarded and experience things for what they really are--an adventure. A learning lesson. A stepping stone.
An experience.
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