So as I'm staring around my room wondering where to even start packing for that upcoming, 9-days-away move to Nova Scotia, a horrible realization came into my mind.
I think I've created roots. Unknowingly, but a small part of me is still dug into Montreal.
That's terrible. I've always enjoyed never having roots. It's my mantra. My claim to fame. My persona. Never rooted.
But as I'm wondering how the hell to pack up my life for 3 months, I can't help but feel worried. I wouldn't call it dread, it's not that serious, but maybe apprehension is a better word.
What if I don't make friends? What if I get lonely? What if I can't find a job? What if I miss my friends here?
The whole point of moving away this summer was to get away from everything and everyone in Montreal. And I'm still game for that, but I'm also just realizing that I'm about to move away for three months, to a province where I don't know anyone. My roommates are probably not going to be home when I get in, so I'll have to find my room in the empty apartment and haul all my stuff into it at night. Alone.
I may be 23 years old, but I'm still just a lame little kid when it comes to things like that. It's really terrible.
It's the little things that are haunting me. My friends are my rock. I'm not sure how I'm going to react if I have a bad day and I can't call one of them up last minute and squeal/flail about it over coffee. Skype just isn't the same for shit like that.
I'm just a little...perturbed at the idea of being launched into the unknown, when my support system is 14 hours away. And I'm doing it completely voluntarily. Am I allowed being scared of something I wanted to do?
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