you can't hurry love

I don't want to believe in the hype anymore. I'm tired of pretending.

I don't want to believe that I have to meet a future significant other in a bar. Sometimes I dig the atmosphere, but for reasons other than trying to meet people. I love sick beats and cold beer. When I go to a club, it's not to pick up.

I'm tired of that scene. And I'm tired of everyone telling me that in order to meet people, I need to get out more. I don't want to get out more. Most guys I meet in clubs are sleazebags anyway--so why am I going out of my way to meet them? They're no damn good.

I want to believe that I can meet someone doing something that seems natural to me. Running. Grocery shopping. Just going about life.

I'm a simple girl. I can't do the heels, the little black dress, the gold-digging. I can't do elegance. And I want to believe that sometimes, a girl like me--a flip-flop wearing, clumsy, easy going goofball--can win out over these flawless girls that I see in the clubs.

The bar scene isn't for me anymore. I just don't understand the obssession with it. Everyone puts on a persona and lures one another in, and for what? It's all fake.

I want to believe that I don't have to pretend, in order to meet a guy that I really like. I can't pretend. I don't have the long legs, the confidence or the attitude to pull off the persona that those girls take on.

I'm too real for that. I am short but feisty, my legs aren't long and sleek but short ad sturdy from years of running. I don't like doing dinner on a first date--too much pressure to perform. Ditch the fancy restaurant and take me on a walk, a picnic. Take me to a ball game. Take me rock climbing.

I like jewelry as much as the next girl, but the most sentimental piece I own is a puka shell necklace that my dad brought me back from Hawaii when I was 8 years old. I still wear it. It means more to me than any diamond ever could. I wear twine and beaded bracelets that my friends made for me. I could listen to the ocean all day. In fact, there's not a day that goes by that I don't miss it. I don't care if the wind messes my hair up. It's all over the place anyway. I'm a girl but I'm not really girlie. I love flowers and chocolate and random acts of affection, but I could probably carve a wave sharper than you, and out-run you for miles.

I'm that kind of simple. I don't like wearing make up. I'd rather dig my toes into the sand than shove them into uncomfortable stilettos. I wear flip flops because, frankly, I don't know how to walk in heels. I dive into pools fully clothed because I think it's funny, and I'm barefoot because I genuinely hate the feel of shoes. Sometimes, I sleep with my surfboard under the covers with me. I'll take it to bed, because it's all I've got. The ocean calls to me, and it's my way of answering. I laugh a lot. My laugh is loud and boisterous and sometimes, if you really get me going, I snort. Which makes me laugh harder. I'll laugh at anything, myself included. I'm a sloppy eater--only half the food on my plate actually makes it to my mouth. The rest ends up on me, somehow. And I eat a lot. A lot. My appetite is insatiable most of the time, and my eyes are never bigger than my stomach.

I don't think a girl like me is going to meet my match--my equal--in a club.

Because he'll probably hate that scene too.

But hey, boy--where are you? I'm a pretty complete person, but you'd be a nice addition. Hurry up. And make sure I know that you think I'm worth the effort you'll have to put forth.