you could turn and stay

Getting to Halifax this summer will be the best thing for me. Montreal can be such poison sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I love the culture of Montreal--the food, the history, the majestic nightlife. But I just can't take the atmosphere here, anymore. I can't take the people, the pretention, the same routine day in and day out. Montreal can zap you of your ability to see beauty in everything. It can be hell sometimes.

I'm tired of the scene here. I feel like I've met everybody, that I've been everywhere, done everything. I guess it's weird. My sister thinks I'm crazy to want to move to a place where I don't know anybody. I have no friends in Halifax. Well, I have one, but she's spending the summer in Newfoundland.

But I need that escape, right now. I need to be by myself for 3 months in a foreign place (that so strangely feels like home) just to get my head right. And I'm not even sure what all in my head is that messed up, but for the past year I have felt like a shell of the person that I want to be. I became really negative this year. Heartbreak never used to jade me so much, but in the past 12 months, there have been certain things that I just never got over.

It's time to cleanse. Get rid of all that...that stuff. That chip on my shoulder. I need a new scene, new places, new people. I need to get away and be alone for awhile.

I've always been a fan of self-reflection. More so, I've always been a fan of just being by yourself. You learn things. You buil your character. You work on yourself.

You're all you've got, anyway.

I don't know why Halifax. I know I fell in love with the city last summer, but I also fell in love with Rome and Switzerland when I visited there. Chicago captivated me, too. But there's something pulling me to Nova Scotia.

I'm a big fan of gut instincts. It doesn't matter if it makes no sense, I'll almost always follow my gut. Even whenit tells me to do insane things.

My gut must know something I don't, and it had better be good, because I'm working two jobs--7 days a week--just to get the money to go there.

But I have a feeling that when I prop my feet up on my outdoor deck above a busy street in downtown Halifax, with a glass of wine and in my PJs at 2AM, it'll all make sense.

Everyone has to do a little soul-searching.